This last year has been one of the more difficult experiences of my life.
It tested my sense of family, my view of mortality, my character, and my sense of self. It made question who I was and who I wanted to be.
I had often quoted "Do I live to work or work to live" but did I know what it meant?
Reality has a way of testing us. Testing our beliefs. Testing the fabric of our being.
Was I a mask? Did I only let people see what I wanted? Or am I authentic to myself and those around me...?
Life tests us... Our Faith... our perspectives...
I thought I was a healer, but felt like I failed.
Did I? Or did I give all that I could and was all that I offered accepted in how it needed to be.
I strove to be present.... but was I?
Did I devote all of my energy and who I was to the people I was with?
Or was I only partially available.
Life hurts... it bears our hearts and souls to all of those around us and rubs us raw when we least expect it. It rips us open so that we have to expose our tears, our hurt, our laughter, our joy, our love to the those around us that love us.
Life also teaches us when we are ready to listen.
Being present and being willing to receive shows us all the connections around us. Friends, family, nature and even animals show us the beauty when we are in the darkest of our moments.
It is also ok to love and be loved. It is also ok to be vulnerable. Most importantly its ok to hurt. It means that we are loving others and being vulnerable.
I hope I have learned the lessons from last year and apply them on a daily basis. I hope that this next lesson is learned more easily.